Faction Breakdown: The Inquistorus
Updated for Substack 12/12/24
As far as I can tell, the way the kits work:
TL;DR: Until you get the Grand Inquistor or Third Sister, this faction sucks. They hit like limp-wristed children, but are tankier than a Ukrainian steel factory. Your fights will take forever, involve a lot of complicated interactions that won't make sense, and you'll still lose.
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Let’s start with the vanilla inks. You know, the ones without any expensive “extras” like Grand Inquisitor (Whiteface McBaldy) and Third Sister (of terrible CGI parkour fame). Gonna leave the new but only barely farmable Marrok (the cooler 8th brother) out of this list for now, too.
- First, pick a leader. 9th sister (the linebacker) makes you immune to JKL's speed down ability. 5th brother (paul revere) puts a shitload of purge on enemies and is very effective against non-jedi (reduces their speed by up to 18%). 2nd sister's (red cape) lead is totally ass. 7th sister's (wicked witch of the west) lead gives a lot of evasion, so it may have niche use in conquest. 8th brother (he's wearing the same helmet as the troopers who fire the death star laser for some reason) is good against teams that gain a lot of foresight from jedi abilities, such as GMY or GK squads.
I'm going to assume you're using paul revere, because I'm pretty sure that even without the speed limiting ability, any decent JKL team will wipe the floor with these weak scrubs.
- Paul revere's lead means any time you use a special ability, you're applying a non-resistable purge on the enemy. It also makes your guys have 35% (total) more health and defense, dragging the interminably long fights out even longer. Weee. His lead also reduces enemy speed if they aren't jedi, so this may become a good team for taking out OR squads. You know, because we don't have any other way to easily deal with those.
- 9th sister's ground pound is really good and you should use it a lot. It dazes, so you know it's cool. She's also going to have a bonus 40% defense and max health, on top of the 35% Paul gave her. Bonkers. Her other ability, "Not worth my time" is not worth your time. It basically removes your hard-earned purge debuffs and replaces them with shit ass dots you don't need and can't use. Might have value in a vader/wampa team for HAAT if you're still stuck in 2018.
- 8th bro (death star gunner hat) is the guy you want removing purge. "Bladed Hilt" will drop a sweet armor shred on the enemy if they have 5 stacks of purge when you use it (plus other buffs, including buff immunity). Everything else is temporary, but armor shred is forever. Also, it means you might be able to eventually hurt the enemy with the wet noodles that are Inks, so worth it. His aoe (photon grenades) also blinds jedi, so that's neat. And he gains or loses stealth every other turn - gaining stealth heals him. So, you know, the fight can take even longer.
- 7th sister (wicked witch) can heal you with ID9 Enemy Intelligence, which also removes 1 stack of purge from each enemy. healing is 30% - 90% on the target depending on how many enemies had purge (0-6). Another 10% is healed for all allies. So the fight can take longer. So you can stack more purge. So you can heal more. So the fight can take longer. So... yeah. Her ID9 electro shock prod not only sounds kinky, but also removes buffs from the enemy and turn meter. And she assists all your other Inks, while healing them, because fucking of course she does. She hits like paper maché that's been left out in the rain though, so all it really does it add more purge. So she can heal more. So... dear fucking God WHY?
- 2nd sister has an ability called "shall I end this" which is about as ironic as it gets in Ink land. She also has "Cant' Run Forever" which purges purge (lol) to remove turn meter from the enemy and maaaaaybe stun them (at 5 stacks, but why would you do that when you could armor shred with my man 8th bro instead). Her ironic attack gives her 100% defense penetration, but just in case, if enemies die (lol) or allies (double lol), when the second one dies she also gets 100% defense penetration. There are other buffs for other numbers of dead things but they won't change anything - you get the picture.
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So here's how the fight goes:
- Linebacker aoe dazes everyone and taunts. Fuck yeah!
- That was the last cool thing you'll do this entire encounter.
- For the next five minutes, you just endlessly apply purge, do no damage, and then heal as they try and fail to hurt any of your guys.
- Occasionally you'll fuck up and remove purge with someone other than 8th brother. D'oh!
- Occasionally you'll use 8th brother to remove purge, but there won't be 5 stacks, and you'll have put his ability on cooldown for nothing. Shitballs.
- Very fucking rarely the stars will align and you'll get 8th brother to armor shred someone, giving you hope.
- The match ends in a draw due to time expiring.
But what if you have Grand Inquisitor, Third Sister, and/or Marrok?
Well, then things get spicy!
Third Sister: undoubtedly the best ink leader (and actor - the racists on twitter can fuck right off with their bullshit complaints). Third sister takes the once terrible Inks and turns them into a truly formidable GAC force. Her ideal team is 3rd / GI / 7th / 5th / 8th. This frees 9th to go play linebacker for Lord Vader’s team. With a full set of omicrons, she is truly devastating, and one of the better defensive squads in GAC.
Grand Inquisitor: Old Whiteface McBaldy here is also an excellent leader for the inks, if only because you need them all at R7 with excellent mods to even start earning bad CGI Parkour shards. This means your inks are top tier, and as such, they’re a fantastic counter to almost anything Jedi, including JML teams. GI brings the one thing that the ink faction was missing: Damage. He also is one of only two current sources of the “Torture” debuff. So that’s cool.
Marrok: Not a leader at all, but this guy is basically a cheat code for the Third Sister shard-earning special mission in Rise TB. I… don’t have any idea how good he is outside of that, since he goes with Baylon and not the other Inks, but he is DAMN GOOD for that shard mission. Also he looks cool? He does look cool.