[Near As I Can Tell...] Kit Reveal: Depa Billaba
I have literally never heard of this person in my life.
CATEGORIES: Attacker, Galactic Republic, Jedi, Jedi Vanguard
Neat.
Okay, so maybe I lied. Or actually, I didn’t lie, because I didn’t remember ever hearing of this person, but I have heard of her! Because I watched like two or three episodes of The Bad Batch before I decided Omeeeega was annoying and the show wasn’t very good. And in episode 1, Depa shows up and sacrifices her life to save that of her padawan. Very jedi. Much honor. Amaze!
And then, because I still was like, “okay so this chick got 30 seconds of screen time and that’s worth a whole marquee event?” I went and looked her up on Wookieepedia.com. And… Apparently the first time we ever saw her was in the prequels, where she appeared as “trying to racially diversify star wars, which is a noble endeavor, but doing so in a really shitty, corporate way whereby she’s not an important character, barely appears on screen, and is in a movie that is just chock fucking full of racist stereotypes projected onto “alien” species. So I’m glad she got her clone-wars backstory glow-up. First she was Mace’s padawan, and then after she became a jedi master, her own padawan whom she saves goes on to change his name and become Kanan Jarrus of the Phoenix Squad. Why does he change his name? No idea. Do these timetables make sense? Not even a little bit. Is Depa somehow younger in the cartoons than in the live action film which took place years earlier? Sure looks like it.
And don’t even look into the age vs. puberty concerns regarding Kanan (somehow pre-pubescent at 14 but showing male pattern baldness at 28). I know that the force is a pathway to powers some might call… unnatural, but delaying puberty only to go bald early sure seems like the shit end of the unnatural power stick to me. Like if I were going to bend the forces of space and time to my will, I’d have MORE hair, not less. And that works at both ages.
Basic - Serene Blade
Final Text:
Deal Physical damage to target enemy.
During Depa's turn, inflict Vulnerable for 1 turn.
If it is not Depa's turn and all allies were Jedi Vanguard at the start of battle, this attack deals 25% more damage (stacking) until the start of her next turn.
That last line feels completely superfluous. Are we calling truckloads of assists which would turn this attack into something formidable? Or is this just words for words’ sake? Knowing CG, I expect the latter.
SPECIAL 1: Vaapad Disciple (Cooldown: 3)
Final Text:
Inflict Healing Immunity for 2 turns and deal Physical damage to target enemy. Depa gains Health Steal Up for 2 turns. If Jedi Master Mace Windu is in the Leader slot, this ability deals 50% more damage.
Call Jedi Master Mace Windu to assist twice.
Again, why does it matter who the leader is for this to deal more damage? Were we worried she might be good under a different Jedi Vanguard leader? Chill the fuck out on the conditionals, CG! Let people make more interesting teams.
Special 2: Will of the Council (Cooldown: 4) (ZETA)
Final Text:
If Jedi Master Mace Windu is the allied Leader, dispel all buffs on enemies, and if any enemies have Investigation, they gain a stack of Investigation for 2 turns which can't be copied, dispelled, or prevented.
Deal bonus Physical damage to all enemies with Shatterpoint, then deal Physical damage to all enemies. Inflict Shatterpoint (excluding raid bosses and Galactic Legends) on enemies this bonus damage was dealt to until the end of the encounter, which can't be copied, dispelled, evaded, or resisted. Jedi Vanguard allies gain Critical Damage Up and Defense Penetration Up for 2 turns.
Depa and Jedi Master Mace Windu gain Foresight for 2 turns. When this Foresight expires from Depa, she gains 100% Turn Meter. When this Foresight expires from Jedi Master Mace Windu, he gains Protection Up (50%) for 2 turns.
This is the danger of releasing two characters at once and NOT HAVING A GODDAMN GLOSSARY OF TERMS IN THE GAME. What in the crazypills is “Investigation?” If she only inflicts shatterpoint on enemies who already had it, how did they get it in the first place?
This marks a new low for SWGoH. Now we need to read TWO kits just to understand ONE OF THEM. But never fear, dear reader - I shall provide what CG, in their infinite, uh, “wisdom,” has not:
Investigation: Increased effects from abilities that utilize Investigation; only one enemy can gain Investigation at a time
Well that was a useless sack of shit to tossed on this festering manure pile. “The snozzberries taste like snozzberries.” Thanks for that, that’s heaps good. Thanks for that balloon.
As for Shatterpoint, the new BAMF (Jedi Master Mace Windu) applies it on basic, forever. So that’s neat.
UNIQUE 1: Nothing and Everything (ZETA, OMICRON)
Final Text:
Depa has +70% counter chance, +25% Offense, and recovers 15% Health and Protection whenever she is inflicted with a debuff. If Jedi Master Mace Windu is in the Leader slot, Depa gains 30% Turn Meter at the start of each encounter, and whenever he uses an ability, Depa gain 25% Critical Damage for 2 turns.
author’s note: “Deepa gain??” Do you mean GAINS with a fucking S because holy shit proof read your kits! No wonder the Green Quickening granted 65% speed instead of 6.5% speed for three months, and the disappearing buttons bug still persists five years later. YOU CAN’T EVEN PROOF-READ YOUR OWN TEXT.
Whenever an enemy is inflicted with Shatterpoint, Depa gains Advantage for 2 turns.
If all allies were Jedi Vanguard at the start of battle: Whenever an enemy is defeated, if they had stacks of Investigation, the next time a Jedi Vanguard uses a Special ability and the target was not Revealed, they inflict a stack of Investigation for 2 turns, which can't be copied, dispelled, or prevented. Whenever an enemy gains a stack of Investigation, Depa gains Speed Up for 2 turns.
While in Territory Battles: Jedi Vanguard allies gain 200% Max Health and Offense.
At the start of each encounter, Jedi Vanguard Tanks gain 200% bonus Protection until the end of the encounter.
Whenever a Jedi Vanguard ally uses an ability, they remove 10% Turn Meter from their target enemy. Whenever a Jedi Vanguard ally defeats an enemy, all Jedi Vanguard recover 50% Health and Protection and gain Damage Immunity and Speed Up for 3 turns.
Whenever a Jedi Vanguard ally is damaged by an enemy, all other Jedi Vanguard gain 10% Turn Meter.
Enemies can't be revived.
I do love that the Investigation mechanic is basically “we killed the guy who we were investigating, so I guess let’s investigate someone else.” It’s the Jedi equivalent of throwing a woman into the ocean and if she swims, she’s a witch, but if she drowns, time to look for another witch.
I’m gonna say it, guys: The Republic needed to die. Was Sidious the right guy for the job? No. FUUUUUUCK no. But like… he wasn’t wrong about the Jedi order being fat and corrupt and complacent and only really existing to defend the status quo rather than living up to the ideals under which it was founded… You know what I mean? Like… sometimes there’s an authoritarian piece of human garbage who has correctly identified the problem we all know exists, then he takes advantage of the people’s desire to resolve the problem but instead exploits the problem for his own tyrannical gain and all I’m saying is that I hope to god his protegé chucks his ass down a laser-balcony sooner rather than later because Alderaan is coming and nobody wants to be on that planet when the turbolaser lases turbo. And I have a really bad feeling that we’re all on fucking Alderaan.
What I’m saying is, this kit got real fucking weird real fucking quickly, and it spends an awful lot of time congratulating itself for only working with very specific factions while ignoring the thing that makes swgoh great is the ability to innovate around kits rather than being forced to live within the confines of extremely prescribed parameters. Especially since those parameters ALWAYS HAVE FUCKING TYPOS IN THEM.
Holy hell, I’m sorry guys. I just can’t let that one go. I’ll try to do better next time.
Maybe.